three in the morning productions

all that glitters

I really hate this gradual process of finding my inner bitch. It seems to only rear its ugly head around my family--and discovering that I'm a fake for it, I decided, hey what the hell, I'll just be a bitch to everyone. And to that purpose, I must say I'm succeeding rather poorly. I really do have an ugly side to me, but yet in public, it seems forced. I wonder if that strikes anyone as a bit ironic and droll.

"I'd rather be a fake somebody, than a real nobody." ~ The Talented Mr. Ripley

Not me, Tom. Not me. I'd rather be a real bitch, than a fake bitch. Because I need to learn to be comfortable with who I am and what I am.

I want to assert the unlikable part of me, but it recoils with every look of incredulity from those who, until now, believed they had me figured. I want to be thought of as a golden-hearted, optimistic person. I am that-- and I am more.

Dispelling the fractional impression people have of me. And I'm not happy because I'm not used to being disliked. Damn me for being so needy on how I want others to perceive me.

Sham on, Kareen, sham on.

10.02.02 - 5:55 p.m.

	all that glitters I really hate this gradual process of finding my inner bitch. It seems to only rear its ugly head around my family--and discovering that I'm a fake for it, I decided, hey what the hell, I'll just be a bitch to everyone. And to that purpose, I must say I'm succeeding rather poorly. I really do have an ugly side to me, but yet in public, it seems forced. I wonder if that strikes anyone as a bit ironic and droll. "I'd rather be a fake somebody, than a real nobody." ~ The Talented Mr. Ripley Not me, Tom. Not me. I'd rather be a real bitch, than a fake bitch. Because I need to learn to be comfortable with who I am and what I am. I want to assert the unlikable part of me, but it recoils with every look of incredulity from those who, until now, believed they had me figured. I want to be thought of as a golden-hearted, optimistic person. I am that-- and I am more. Dispelling the fractional impression people have of me. And I'm not happy because I'm not used to being disliked. Damn me for being so needy on how I want others to perceive me. Sham on, Kareen, sham on. 10.02.02 - 5:55 p.m.