three in the morning productions

soleil de quatre

This morning I woke up at 6:43 a.m. and peered out the window, wondering if the gloom of stillness outside was herald to a rainy day. I woke up because in my house it's always so cold in the mornings. In bed, I remained curled and shivering under my blanket, (which I had wrapped twice around my body, mummy-style) and considered if leaving my fetal role in search for socks would be worth planting my feet on the shock of cold carpet. Eventually, I run down the hall to turn off the air and rummage through the linen closet for another blanket. After all that excitement, I couldn't very well go back to sleep so I settled to read what more I could of Nickel and Dimed. At around 7:32, I glance up--suddenly remembering that the other night I had purposely advanced my clock to a good forty minutes, so in fact it was still 6:52, if not earlier damnit. I couldn't just sit around and wait until I fall back to sleep, so I don my tennis shoes and head to Kiwanis park for my usual morning run, except recently it (the excursion) has been a rarity since I've frequently overslept and still woken up to exhaustion in anticipation of standing on my feet throughout the remainder of the day. I hate the part where I have to push myself because what if I give up? Then it's over, there's no hope for me... I will always be suspended between paper light resolves and the guilt of being weak. But I do it, I keep my feet moving anyway. Around ten thirty Nico and I go to San Lee Park where we meet up with Danny for our fishing date. It's a date because it was planned ahead, but has no semblance of anything romantic, so oooh-not. There, Nico instructs us with his knowledge of fishery, because we're computer folks and not outdoorsian. My reeling skill is limited to swishing the rod side from side in the hope that the rest will take care of itself by shooting out, hook, sinker and all. Well, excuuse me but the last time I went fishing was nigh ten years ago. Oddly enough, out of the affair I am the only who caught a fish. I want to take a picture with it, but I feel sorry for the little bugger so I tell my brother to put it back in the water, and what does the little runt do, he chucks the poor thing hurtling in the air and I do believe it skips before it flops back into the water. As the sun begins crawling out uninvited, we move to a small dock half-shaded from the sweltering light where I somehow appeal a butterfly into alighting on my outstretched finger and then I hush everyone to gaze in admiration. With the lack of bites, and out of boredom the boys begin to amuse themselves by scooping out minnows with plastic cups while I sit beneath a tree on moss covered roots, fanning away with my straw hat. Soon enough, I'm drawn into the joy of catching minnows and I help out by guiding them to their deaths with a willowy branch. But even that gets wearisome so we sit to eat the sandwiches I'd prepared and share memories of our old pets and private schools we'd attended. Twenty before one, we leave San Lee-- hot, sweaty and fishless. I return home to play Chess Match To The Death with Derek. I win but then suddenly get very sleepy. Jemima calls, she's gotten into another fight with Phil and I'm really tired and I just really want to sleep so I tell her to come home. I take a nap and then wake up to a fight with her over clothes. Kari comes over, bringing Leslie with her. I don't really care to hold grudges against Jemima so I introduce them to her while she's hauling clothes out of my closet. I would invite Jemima along but I tire of her company, and so the three of us go to eat out at Ham's. Fireworks

Missing Kevin

07.05.03 - 1:06 a.m.

	soleil de quatre This morning I woke up at 6:43 a.m. and peered out the window, wondering if the gloom of stillness outside was herald to a rainy day. I woke up because in my house it's always so cold in the mornings. In bed, I remained curled and shivering under my blanket, (which I had wrapped twice around my body, mummy-style) and considered if leaving my fetal role in search for socks would be worth planting my feet on the shock of cold carpet. Eventually, I run down the hall to turn off the air and rummage through the linen closet for another blanket. After all that excitement, I couldn't very well go back to sleep so I settled to read what more I could of Nickel and Dimed. At around 7:32, I glance up--suddenly remembering that the other night I had purposely advanced my clock to a good forty minutes, so in fact it was still 6:52, if not earlier damnit. I couldn't just sit around and wait until I fall back to sleep, so I don my tennis shoes and head to Kiwanis park for my usual morning run, except recently it (the excursion) has been a rarity since I've frequently overslept and still woken up to exhaustion in anticipation of standing on my feet throughout the remainder of the day. I hate the part where I have to push myself because what if I give up? Then it's over, there's no hope for me... I will always be suspended between paper light resolves and the guilt of being weak. But I do it, I keep my feet moving anyway. Around ten thirty Nico and I go to San Lee Park where we meet up with Danny for our fishing date. It's a date because it was planned ahead, but has no semblance of anything romantic, so oooh-not. There, Nico instructs us with his knowledge of fishery, because we're computer folks and not outdoorsian. My reeling skill is limited to swishing the rod side from side in the hope that the rest will take care of itself by shooting out, hook, sinker and all. Well, excuuse me but the last time I went fishing was nigh ten years ago. Oddly enough, out of the affair I am the only who caught a fish. I want to take a picture with it, but I feel sorry for the little bugger so I tell my brother to put it back in the water, and what does the little runt do, he chucks the poor thing hurtling in the air and I do believe it skips before it flops back into the water. As the sun begins crawling out uninvited, we move to a small dock half-shaded from the sweltering light where I somehow appeal a butterfly into alighting on my outstretched finger and then I hush everyone to gaze in admiration. With the lack of bites, and out of boredom the boys begin to amuse themselves by scooping out minnows with plastic cups while I sit beneath a tree on moss covered roots, fanning away with my straw hat. Soon enough, I'm drawn into the joy of catching minnows and I help out by guiding them to their deaths with a willowy branch. But even that gets wearisome so we sit to eat the sandwiches I'd prepared and share memories of our old pets and private schools we'd attended. Twenty before one, we leave San Lee-- hot, sweaty and fishless. I return home to play Chess Match To The Death with Derek. I win but then suddenly get very sleepy. Jemima calls, she's gotten into another fight with Phil and I'm really tired and I just really want to sleep so I tell her to come home. I take a nap and then wake up to a fight with her over clothes. Kari comes over, bringing Leslie with her. I don't really care to hold grudges against Jemima so I introduce them to her while she's hauling clothes out of my closet. I would invite Jemima along but I tire of her company, and so the three of us go to eat out at Ham's. Fireworks Missing Kevin 07.05.03 - 1:06 a.m.